Current mood:

optimistic

Tightening the Package

As I look back on the past three weeks since I re-started my efforts after the holidays, I can see that this has been an "easing in" process.  I had to get used to the act of exercising 5 days a week.  I had to get used to the act of drinking a good bit of water every day.  I had to get used to the act of limiting sweets and fats.  I have felt my muscles getting stronger under my fat.  I feel better hydrated and healthier from the water.  The only supplement I take is a One-a-Day Weight Smart.  I do yoga twice a week and felt the results of that when I was at an Aikido studio on Saturday, sitting on the floor on a mat.  Good thing are happening, but one of them is NOT weight loss and not really even inch loss.  The most I have seen is that my elbows are a little pointier.  Normally, I would be discouraged, but I can see this time as part of a process to get to where I need to be.

Now, I am ready to put a little more white knuckle into it.   So far, it hasn't really been hard, compared to other times I have tried to lose weight, mostly because I have not been pushing myself.  The changes have been gentle and forgiving.  It is time to "fish or cut bait."  :) 

My cousin, Virginia, responded to my last post and said that since Thanksgiving, she has lost 25 pounds by treadmilling 6 days a week and cutting back to 1500 calories a day.  I am SO proud of her.  It really inspired me to take a tighter control of what I am doing here and get the ball rolling on this project. 

I am still extremely honored and excited to be able to do this.  I know I can do it.  This is MY year and I am truly going to make this happen.  I have been blessed with so many little miracles to help me along.  For instance, last night, I made a nice dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, biscuits, gravy and corn on the cob.  I had a little of everything and quit when I was full.  David was visiting with his friend, Amber, and she made a spice cake (my favorite).  Since I was full, I didn't have any, but very nearly an entire cake was left over when they split.  Yikes!  I was worried and honestly prepared to trash the whole thing so I would not be tempted, but TA-DA!   I noticed that instead of vanilla frosting, she used cream cheese frosting!  Yayyyy!  I HATE cream cheese!  :)  So that was great. 

I wanted the new Body Flex work out with the gym bar.  I had such good luck with the old program, but felt like I wanted to do something different.  I immediately began checking on the DVD, but it was really prohibitively expensive for me at around $50, whether I got it new or used.  Yesterday, I found it on VHS for considerably less (as tends to be the case) and as much as I hate VHS, I decided to bid on it anyway and see if I could at least get the idea of the work out.  I love having so many exercise options.  I have the treadmill, the recumbent bike, the gazelle, the mini-trampoline, Body Flex, Walk Away the Pounds, walking the dogs, the exercise ball, the resistance tubes...  Then there's yoga twice a week.  That's one thing about having a weight loss journey that lasts decades.  You amass a number of different avenues to tried and abandoned, so when you really are ready to do it, there are a lot of options at your disposal.  Other than diet medications, I plan to use parts of all of the things I have learned over the years to bring about success.  I also ordered (freebie through my book club), a book on strength training with resistance tubes and the exercise ball.  Strength training is something I have always wanted to explore, but have never done so with any kind of genuine momentum.

I just adjusted my Fitday PC program (best download I ever paid for) to reflect my new goal.  The target I have set is healthy, but very optimistic.  I do not expect it to be easy, that is for sure.  My plan is to get to 150 pounds, which is just inside the recommended weight for my height, body type and age, by October 31st.  That is exactly 40 weeks and 1 day.  I'll be losing right around 2 pounds a week.  There is no excuse good enough this time.  There is no fear strong enough.  There is no doubt powerful enough and there is no carb that tastes yummy enough for me to fail.

Besides, I have to see Carolyn Aspenson in July and there's no way I'm going to do that when I am even fatter than the last time she saw me. If I could have her out here as my personal trainer, I'm betting I wouldn't even need 40 weeks and a day.  The fat would flee from me in terror.  : P   Carolyn is a physical fitness commando!  (Hey, we all have to have our inspiration and motivation and mine is fear of Carolyn!)  She would take those trainers on Biggest Loser and show them what pussies they really are!

Another kind of out of the blue change that I learned I would be making (when you listen to your body, it doesn't always tell you what you want to hear) is that I will be giving up caffeine for the most part.  I might have the occasional glass of iced tea when I am dining out, but for the most part, it's going to be clear diet soda, water. very occasional juices and herb tea.  I have not been reacting well to stimulants lately and this is the one I use most, so away it goes.  If Sherry can do it, so can I.

I knew today was launch day of the "real" efforts and last night, I promptly had a melt down, fueled by anxiety over a dental situation coming up meets overly emotional late and finally here period hormones.  Eric was a doll and just let me rant out all of my fears about weight loss.  What if I did all of this and gained it right back with friends?  What if I am left with giant folds of skin that won't go away?  What if I am out walking and I fall and no one can find me?  What if I'm not as attractive as I remember after I lose weight?  He suggested I have him do a Tarot reading on it, so we did.  It pretty much said that my efforts are blessed and that the outcome will be wonderful and all will hail to my weight loss mastery.  It also said I was worry about things I didn't need to worry about and should be applying my energy better (as in "kick up the efforts a bit").  That helped a good bit. 

Today is the second part of my "beginning" and I know there will be a lot of other links in the chain that takes me to a successful October 31 conclusion.  I can do it... I am doing it... It is done.